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Enablers are generally submissive and aren’t usually too far from the narcissist. This enabler will only get approval from the narcissist if they behave and bend to every wish. They help maintain that “happy” image and make excuses for the parent. This could be a partner or a daughter who usually feeds the needs of the narcissistic parent. Depending on the narcissist and the size of the family, roles may include: The narcissistic family explained The enabler Life is always a show and usually a drama. High grades or exceptional sports performances, or beauty also help a child be accepted.Ī Shakespeare quote, “All the world’s a stage” holds especially true for the narcissistic family. First-born boys are usually valued simply due to their gender and birth order. You’re a valued member as long as you follow your assignment. Each member of the family falls into category that helps maintain the image.
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Often there is no guidance, children have to figure out how to be the best. Everyone must come in first in all they do.
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Selling this image is immensely important, as the slightest crack in this fantasy world can send a narcissist into an aggressive spiral. The family is the picture of pure bliss and perfection. The happy family: all is well and everyone is happy.Happy, well behaved and successful are three forms of perfection that have to be projected. This “role” depends on the image the narcissist wants to maintain and the qualities this member can offer to fulfill the image. In a narcissistic family every member has a role to play Read more about the consequences of a narcissistic family here.
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Reputation, control, and power are at the top of the narcissist’s priorities. The narcissist’s needs always come first, and the rest of the family is manipulated into compliance. Instead of having calm, loving and supportive parents, children grow up bullied and disparaged. The dominating parent sees the family as: a symbol of status and something they can control completely. Narcissistic families live in a fantasy world of perfection. A narcissistic family on the other hand operates under the rule of one dominating leader Narcissism is a character disorder.Ĩ Traits of Functional And Happy FamiliesĪccording to family experts Friel and Friel, authors of Adult Children, The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families, healthy functional families have eight traits in common. Many don’t know what healthy families or relationships are like and need help to recover.Īnother kind of dysfunction is the perfectionism resulting from a narcissistic parent. More than 27 million Americans are adult children of alcoholism and addiction. In fact, 2 out of every 3 people in recovery are victims of child abuse. Many people in recovery programs are victims of trauma and/or abuse as the result of family addiction. When addiction is in the picture, chaos reigns, and nobody’s mental health is protected or promoted. One common reason for family dysfunction is a parent (both parents or siblings) with a substance or alcohol use disorder.
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Is your self-esteem a fragile egg shell easily broken? You may have grown up in a dysfunctional family where your needs for love and protection were not met. Do you have family secrets you can’t ever tell? Maybe you’re a people pleaser or codependent and always end up attached to people who hurt you.
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You may wonder if you’re in a narcissistic family. Let’s learn about the narcissistic family model